Uber Tales (33)

Uber Superstitions

Mine comes in twos. I see the Rosebank Union Church coming out while I’m on a trip. I’ll drive back there once I’ve dropped my charge some 2km further along William Nicol, I think. The previous time I did a pick-up there, I kvetched the Nameless Nissan by driving over a middleman while making a U-turn. Lesson learnt. I won’t do something like that to the sporty Super Sias, I think.

I’m always nervous returning to a place where I kvetched my car before. Back at the church I see there are still many people about. Now just to find a shady spot to park in. I make a U-turn. Kvetch! On the front bumper. Not a serious kvetch, but a kvetch nonetheless. I sigh.

I do get a call from where I’s sitting and sighing. It is from the Tara Mental Hospital 2km away and not from the church. Uber’s is a crazy world. I pick the guy up from the nurse’s home. There’s an unmarked speed bump in the shade. Kvetch! Underneath the front bumper. I sigh a sigh of relief. If they come in twos, I got off lightly this time.

I’m an atheist and I don’t know why I belief all this shit. Take the parking bays at Rosebank Gautrain as example. There’s one I’m convinced will give me a trip from the Hyatt Regency. That’s a good thing because it is unlikely to be a pesky 2km trip. Another, my firm belief is, will yield only pesky 2km trips. Yet another will not give anything at all. Trains and Ubers can come and go, but I will stay put. All 10 of the shaded parking spots are next to each other in a space the size of a tennis court. Go figure.

I’m sitting in such a dead spot as I write this. On the upside the dead spot allows me time to write. Usually the universe applauds the act of writing by giving me a trip. Remember, the universe applauds action not thoughts. Not in this dead spot. Not on your Nelly!

Super Sias and I in the Pesky 2km Trip bay at Rosebank Gautrain

I’ll step out of the car and go stand in the ‘Hyatt Regency’ spot with my phone. I’ll also light a smoke. The universe often applauds that action by giving me a trip. Strangely it doesn’t applaud the action of me pouring coffee from my car’s boot in the same way. The universe can be funny in that way.

Sorry for the interruption. I got a pesky 2km trip while walking across the ‘Pesky 2km Trip’ bay. I had to nip my freshly lit smoke in the bud to bow to the universe’s applause.

I walk across the ‘Anywhere but the Gautrain’ bay and as I light my smoke I get the call from Cradock Ave. The universe is generous with its Uber applause today.

Then there are negative thoughts that one should not think such as: I’m only a minor mishap away from a major disaster. I did NOT think THAT! When last I thought such thoughts, I got two very serious kvetches in two days.

I have many other little superstitions like watching soft porn will bring bad luck and that if my first trip is into the Joburg CBD, I’ll get another two there that same day, but they are boring so I won’t go into them. As a matter of fact, my superstition that the first trip determines the rest of the day, often plays itself out and I wonder if it is a superstition at all? I began today with two pesky 2km cash trips. I sigh. I get seven more of the same in a row. They come in twos, right? Yeah, right.

On a more positive note, I firmly believe that if I keep on asking for donations to this here fine blog, somebody, somewhere will some day pay something into my Capitec Savings Account 1463736582, Branch Code 470010 (CR Visser). If you can’t do that, at least ‘like’ my Facebook page ‘ChuckV’s Taxi’.

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